The practice of polygamy exists in some interpretations of religious texts, particularly the Old Testament. However, it’s important to note that these texts are open to various interpretations

If man follows the words of God just as he has been instructed, especially when it comes to the affairs of women, a lot will probably figure it out. But for every rule, there is an outlier. In this matter, some women will not be satisfied regardless of what a man does for them.

Polygamy comes with its own rules. It is not a try-your-luck affair. There is a condition to it and if, as a man, you don’t meet the condition,you are strongly advised to keep one wife until you can satisfy the condition. 

It is not only about having the money to feed and shelter these women you will take in as wives but how just and fair can you be? 

Polygamy as an institution was established so that every woman will have a husband, considering how unbalanced the ratio of women to men is. Sadly, many are men who have married additional wives because their friends have done so. Other men take in second wives just to spite or “punish” the first wife. Others say the bedroom skills of their first wives are poor, some for beauty, others for status, and others just for the fun of it.

In all cases, the children bear the greater consequences. Because polygamy is not practiced the way it is supposed to be,its beauty and essence have been lost.

This is the story of Mukarama.

With her hand cupping her cheek, she settled onto the stool.  “I don’t want to marry Atik. He already has a wife.”. Mukarama said. As Muslims, marrying more than one is legal but to the lame person, it’s a gigantic issue. “He’s the one you will marry, whether you like it or not,” said Auntie Memuna. In their time, a woman marries whom her family deems right for her, which she accepts. To this day, some families are like this. Among his friends, he was the one with the least wage. But they each kept a wife. Could that be Shareefa’s reason for disobeying Atik? That he receives peanuts of a wage?

In fact, he so wants to marry Mukarama because of the horrendous ways of Shareefa. In an average hand basin, there were three pieces of cloth with veils to complete a combination. With a fair amount of dowry, the knot was tied. Islamically, simple marriages are the best.

Show me a person who is pampered more than a newlywed wife and I will teach you how to collect spilled milk. The two women stayed in separate houses. Mukarama sets fire at Shareefa’s house to prepare a meal, even when it’s not her turn. In polygamous marriages, the husband takes turns visiting his wives on some scheduled days. Maximum, the man spends three nights with each wife separately. 

Mukarama leaves her home at dawn for Shareefa’s place and returns at dusk. Mukarama is responsible for Shareefa’s housekeeping. She babysits Shareefa’s children.

Atik gives Mukarama’s upkeep money to Shareefa to keep. What will happen if he gives it to Mukarama directly? Besides, are  they not  co-wives? Is one better than the other?

She always begins her morning on an empty stomach until noon, when she’s done with her ‘house helping’. Shareefa, the lady in charge,then hands over the money to her reluctantly, as if it were coming from her pocket. ‘This is yours’ she will say to Mukarama through her nostrils. Many times, when the wife cum maid servant goes about her duties, “the lady” finds herself a place under the mango tree and then positions herself in the middle of two friends. They chat and she giggles the loudest in mockery of Mukarama. She would occasionally give her (Mukarama) a cockish look.

Atik scolds and yells at Mukarama for complaints given to him by Shareefa. She’s given no chance to have her say. But what kind of lady would so much envy her maid servant? “I am sick and tired of this marriage. I am your wife too, not a servant to you and your wife. I want to believe you didn’t marry me for her, right? ” Mukarama cried. Mukarama neglects her work and sometimes her children just to attend to her lady,  Shareefa, per Atik’s instructions. “You do as I say. I’m the man, not you,” he with anguish.

Down to this day, Mukarama is still Atik’s wife, as is Shareefa. 

One day,Shareefa was nowhere to be found. Nobody knew her whereabouts. Days later, news broke that she was seen in a neighboring country. Apparently, at the time, Abidjan was the goldmine. Businesses were blooming and so Shareefa conversed with Atik about the new mine. He vehemently objected to the idea of Shareefa’s traveling, but she did not heed.

In the end, she jilted, leaving four children behind. Atik put them under the care of Mukarama. So, together with her four stepchildren, they lived. She tried her best not to be biased. She took care of them as if they were her own. Atik carefully supported his elder wife’s children whenever they had a grudge with Mukarama’s brood. Whether they are at fault or not, he’s always in support of them.

He retired from work and he had saved not even a penny. He lived on Mukarama’s income from her petty trade. She had become the man. He was not able to give his children any proper education. Not even Islamic education. He would often say to Mukarama, “It’s to their benefit if they go to school, not mine.” So he never attended any Parents and Teachers Association meetings. 

The children played truant and ended up carrying loads in the market for traders so that they’d be given some little money to fend for themselves as teenagers. Again, when he found out, he stopped giving them the money for their upkeep. And that made the boys abandon school totally. Mukarama could not fight the battle of educating her children and Shareefa’s alone. Atik was absolutely ignorant and myopic.

Shareefa came back from Abidjan and could not find a place to stay. It had to take interventions for her first child, Ali, to agree to give his mother one of the numerous rooms in his house to lay her head. The house he won from a lottery. Atik was being ejected from the house where he stayed with Mukarama in a very small room made of iron sheets. Mukarama stayed by Atik’s  side for nearly a half century, despite his biases.

Upon hearing his parents were about to be ejected, Jabal left where he had rented and went back to sleeping in the cold. Jabal is Mukarama’s second son. Until Madina turned 15, she had always known her father, Atik, to be married only to her mother, Mukarama. For 21 years, Atik and Shareefa have not shared any marital relationship. He does not visit her like he ought to. He clings onto Mukarama yet holds up to Shareefa’s affairs.

© 2017, Kandey Alhassan. All rights reserved.

Updated on April 19, 2024.

First Posted on July 16, 2017 via www.kandeyalhassan.wordpress.com